Seek first to understand, then to be understood
People really don't listen. People are just either not that interested in what you're saying, or they are too focused on their own agenda. It's ridiculous to see two people acting like they can’t really hear each other — by choice. There’s a proverb, “Listen, or thy tongue will make thee deaf” In " The Significance Principle ," authors Les Carter and Jim Underwood posit that we should listen past where the other person has finished. We should even pause before answering. Let them get their point, their story, their compliment, and even their criticism out completely. Then, before preparing your response, ask more about what they said. Get engaged. Understand what and why. Stephen Covey defines this as the fifth habit in his bestselling book, " 7 Habits of Highly Effective People ." It's critical: Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Seeking real understanding affirms the other person and what they have to say. That's what they wan...